Shalom Haverim (hello friends),

Obviously it is Molly here. I'm at my family's kibbutz right now in the Negev, but we will get to that in due time. I have some time before the Passover seder begins, and thought I should take this opportunity to blog about Poland so I'm not so overwhelmed when I get back to the Kibbutz on the 16th. I should let you know before we begin that all that I saw in Poland has not set in yet. Some people have come to understand all taht they saw but some of us are still processing. Occording to our teachers it takes everyone different amounts of time, some right then, some weeks later, some months later. But it is a process and part of the process is for me to write about how I felt and all that I saw to process it a little bit further. So when I talk about things and don't give a direct emotional reaction, it is because I am not sure about that yet. I have not yet experienced it. This post is long. I am well aware. Probably longer than any that I will write. But it is all crucial information and I would appreciate your reading but understand that sometimes, you just don't have the time.

Let's start out by saying I hate Poland. I am deeply sorry for all of my readers out there who have some strange long lost love for Poland but, well, to be perfectly honest I hate Poland. I never ever ever ever want to go back. Ever. I do not know how many times I can say that for you to understand my deep hatred for Poland, but I hate Poland. There. I could end the post there but I guess I will fill you in on the details. Let's begin the journey of the trip.

When we left off, I was dying of sickness packing. So I packed all my stuff and felt terrible for the rest of that day. Waking up that morning at 2:30 was not fun. At all. I could barely walk and the planeride was miserable even though I slept the whole time, and the second we landed we went on a 3 hour busride. Not fun. Turns out I did have strep. I felt terrible for the first few days of the trip so those are probably less descriptive. I felt like such crap I can't even explain but I did not want to miss out on ANYTHING. I was so sure of that.

After the 3 hour busride we find ourselves in Warsaw. The Warsaw cemetary to be exact. We spent the day around the cemetary learning strangely about Jewish life in Poland pre-Holocaust. We learned that during the Holocaust when the Warsaw ghetto was established and the Jews were living in there (under terrible, horrific conditions might I add. They were allowed 180 calories of food per day! That is barely enough to keep someone alive!) that they used to stage deaths of people so they could have a "funeral" and that is where the major smuggling occured in the Ghetto. Smuggling as in food and goods to keep the people inside alive. Remarkable. During the Holocaust although the cemetary itself was kept in pretty decent shape, all of the records were destroyed by the Nazis. Today there is a man basically dedicating his life to restoring the records. It was so weird because one of the girls on our trip found the grave of one of her great great grandparents. Crazy stuff happens in Poland. In the cemetary we visited a mass grave of people that died in the Ghetto. 30% (dont take my word for that because I forget if that is right or not) of the people in the ghetto died of hunger and starvation. Because of such high numbers, mass graves were made to store all of the bodies. So we stood around one of them.

After being kicked out of the cemetary because it was past closing time, we waited on the bus for the other class in our group, but they were taking FOREVER. We didn't know where they were. Turns out, they were locking inside the cemetary! Haha, I would of freaked out if I was with them. But it still makes a pretty decent story. Anyways after this we went to the hotel. Oh. My. Lord. We had such big beds!! Each of us had our own queen size bed! You do not understand the amazingness of this. They were so comfy and nice, MAN! That was the best part of Poland, the beds. We switched hotels a lot, and by a lot, I mean everynight. But each had nice beds, no need to complain. I felt so bad for my roommate Julia though because she always had to carry everything because I was so sick. She was a trooper though. So the nurse took my temperture after the day and said something in celcius, then tried to convert it to farenheit and said I had a 107 degree fever. Oh my gosh that was so funny. SO funny.

Oh wow, I can feel this to be a HUGE post. Oh well, I got lots to say. So the next day on the bus (by the way our group got the biggest bus because we had all of the guest teachers and such on our bus. it was very, very, very, large. I loved all the space) the madrichim made the people in the backrow move so I could sleep back there. Basically I had 5 seats in the back of the bus to myself because I was sick. Since the busrides were so long we watched movies related to the stuff we are learning about on the way to some places, so that day we watch Fiddler On The Roof. I love Fiddler. Because I was sleeping though, I couldn't really watch it, but I listened. It was so funny because I was listening to "Matchmaker" and all of a sudden I hear all of these mens voices singing along and start to think... hey... this isn't right. So I look up to see a bunch of the guys singing along. Oh Jewish boys. Only you would sing along to Fiddler.

This time we arrived in a town calle Tikochin which was an old Jewish town pre-Holocaust. Because I was sick they didn't want me walking around outside so made me stay in the synagogue there. Let me just tell you that although Poland sucks, it has gorgeous synagogues. This one was magnificent. It had prayers written up and down the walls and it was tall and had beautiful artwork and intricite designs. It was spectacular. While I was in there a bunch of different groups from different schools in Israel were touring and one of them was playing a song in the background, a very inspirational, uplifting song. Guess who was signing? None other than Barbra Streissand. Funny how she even follows us to Poland. Anyways after sitting in there we took a 2 minute busride to another, sadder site to learn the fate of the Jews of Tikochin.

The Jews of Tikochin were rounded up in their town by the Nazis and led to the forest next to their town. They continued to dig their own mass graves and be murdered by the Nazis who led them there. We walked the path of the Jews as they walked to their deaths and visited the 3 mass graves in the forest. All around the graves were candles, Israeli flags, letters and so forth. By the way everywhere we went in Poland taht had anything to do with the destruction of the Jews, our teachers and madrichim all wore israli flags either on their backs as capes sort of or held them on a stick. Just keep that in mind. We took some time in this forest. Some people writing their thoughts down, others just staring into the fenced off areas of the mass graves. But then we all came together for a service led by the madrichim. They said some nice, inspirational thoughts and then we slowly, and quietly made our way out of the forest. We had the luxory of walking out of that forest but the Jews of Tikochin didn't. I think that is the part that gets me most. This whole time I was saying the Shema actually all throughout Poland I was. Sorry this is so scatter-brained but I have just so much to say. On our walk to this forest it was so weird because kids were playing outside, and waving to us... but this is such a sad place.. I don't understand how life at all goes on here. It was weird almost like it was made this way but in the forest in the area of the mass graves, the trees were barren of color and the baby trees on teh ground were barren of leaves but as we walked out of the forest I noticed the trees had orange flowers and the little baby ones had leaves. Maybe I read too much into it, but just something to think about.

The next day I woke up feeling a lot better but still pretty sick. Everyone was happy because I was smiling and making jokes again. You do not understand how sick I have to be for all that to stop so really, I was pretty sick. Anyways one other girl had strep with me and it was my friend Ally's birthday and she had been throwing up all night, so the counselors thought it would be best for us to sleep in the morning and to be able to fully experience the afternoon. So we slept in and then met everyone for lunch. We then headed over to Majdanek death camp. First off let me say that from the death camp you can see into peoples backyards. You can see into their windows. You can see houses! I can't possibly understand, even begin to GRASP how anyone could live there! I asked my teacher and those houses were there even when the death camp was up in running. How the hell do you live your life next to a death camp and not... I don't even know... do anything. Are these people human? I mean even know it is freaking crazy that they live there, next to a place where so many people lost their lives? And it is the same at Auschwitz as well! I do not understand. In the least. Ugh. Anyways we started our day here sitting by the memorial next to the road and I experienced one of the biggest forms of anti-semetism I have ever experienced. Maybe I hate Poland because of the anti-semetism there. Anyways, people drove by in their car and flipped us off yelling some crap to us that we didn't understand. Really? Really? What kind of a human being does that? I can't explain in words how angry this made me. Why do people hate us so much? I don't understand. I think this is one of the major questions I have from this trip but I just don't get it.

Our teacher started by talking about the history of Majdaneck and such but something he said really stood out to me. He said that he didn't want to call it a "death camp" because those words are too nice. He went into explaining camp is a good thing! I like camp, you like camp etc. but it is a nice word. Death does not explain what happened there. It was murder, simply murder. I don't know it just stood out. Anyways Majdaneck was the first camp to be liberated and because of this the Nazis had virtually no time to hide thier tracks. Majdaneck is so raw. So raw. I mean it is almost exactly how the Nazis left it, it is scary. They are trying to make it more of a museum. For example some of the gas chambers were roped off so you wouldn't walk inside and there was one old bunker turned into a museum style. But for the most part it is disgustingly raw.

The smell at Majdanek was terrible. It just smelt like death. Ugh, I can't even explain but the fact that I could smell the grossness even with my stuffy nose, says something. It was so disgusting. We started the trip of course by visiting the gas chamber, the place where so many lives, so many people were not able to walk out of like we were. We walked through the shower area (the actual showers), where they would get their hair shoven off, where they took off their clothes, past a room filled with cans of Zyklon B, and into the room with the 2 gas chambers. I was one of the last people in so I was one of the last people out and I walked to the door of one of the gas chambers and just stared into it for a good 3 minutes. You could see the Zyklon B stains on the walls. You could see how the cement walls made you feel so enclosed. You could see the door on the other side where so many people must of desperately tried to get through and where there was a peephole for the stupid Nazis could make sure everyone was dead inside. I don't think I will ever get that imagine out of my mind. The scene was so ... daunting. I can't find the right words it was just horrific. I could hear people screaming and imagine them just trying so hard to fight for their last breaths. I just ugh. This is all so hard to explain but I'm trying.

Outside we had a pretty long time, about 20-30 minutes of just sitting while everyone kind of regrouped. I mean we walked through gas chambers and lived. Something so many other Jews would of given everything to say, and gave everything to try to say it. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe that it actually exists. God it is so frustrating. Ugh. It is so frustrating that I saw this with my own EYES. WITH MY OWN EYES. And there are people out there trying to say that the Holocaust didn't happen? Are they crazy? How the hell can you tell me that one third of my people just disapeared, that they didn't actually experience a Holocaust of any sort? I don't understand how you can say that when it is obviously still there! If you don't believe that it happened go to Poland! You want to tell me, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, that the Holocaust didn't happen. Tell that to the death camps in Poland. I can't deal with the ignorance in this world. It makes me so angry I can't even express it. So angry. I think this is actually one of the only feelings I felt while in Poland. Pure anger. Ugh.

In the museum-y room in Majdenek it had on display playing cards, games, and dolls that prisoners of the camp made. I admire these people more than anyone in the entire world. How can someone be in more of a state of hopelessness than being in a death camp, yet have the happiness in ones soul to make these happy things? Someone might respond that they had to to keep their spirit alive, but how they can keep that spirit within them, gosh, I don't get it. One of the rooms had the shoes of the people who went through the camp. I'm not sure if it was all the shoes or not but the sheer number of shoes was mindboggling. The shoes were in cages all throughout the room lining the walls and the middle and maybe someone took a picture so that I can show you but it is truly the craziest thing I have ever seen. Ever. Ever. So many shoes I can't even take it.

We then went to the crematorium and that was hard. In there was a sort of memorial to all the different nations effected by the Holocaust written in the nation's language and one of the plaque-things was Yehudim or Jews written in Hebrew. We are a seperate nation. In America we don't identify with it like we should, but we really are. Stuff like this is proof.

At the end of Majdenek is a giant memorial and inside is something that I will have such a hard time explaining. Basically it is a hill, a large mound, of ashes of the cremated Jews from Majdenek. It is not all of their ashes because a lot of the ashes were, disgustingly, used for fertilizer in nearby Nazi farms. But this hill of ashes was so big. So big. And so disgusting. You could see bones in it. Ashes and bones of people, human beings, real live people, who were innocent. They were murdered because of being Jewish. Being Jewish. I don't get how that is a good enough reason to kill 6 million people. It doesn't make sense. And this pile, gosh, it just made me think, that these people each other them, each little bone and ash belonged to someone who had a family and whole life and was just stripped of that. Stripped of all humanity and life and ugh it just isn't fair!! I mean duh, I'm saying a lot of common knowledge but it is just. Unfathomable. It still is. That pile is just. Frightening.

We had another ceremony here. And after we had another busride and on this ride watched Schindler's List. Remarkable story. I'll talk about this more later.

The next day we were in Crakow where Schindler's list actually takes place but first of let me say how this movie is inacurate, as I learned, because the Jews were not put into a Ghetto in the city but moved across the bridge/river and a ghetto was made there instead. Okay so we basically went synagogue hopping in the old Jewish quarter and visited beautiful old synagogues, most of them were restored recently because during and after the Holocaust they were not in great shape. That night we had Shabbat services in a museum of Polish Jewry. We had Polish people this service because there is a small (and when I say small I mean miniscule) budding Jewish community in Crakow. It is basically non-existent but you can't blame people for trying. I talked to a Polish girl whose grandma was in the Holocaust. She celebrtes shabbat each week which I later found out from friends who talked to a lot of different people that their people did not do this and most had just found out they were Jewish. It is crazy. I'll talk about this more later. The Polish people had their own prayerbook and on the cover was a picture worth mentioning. It was a picture of a door to a synagogue with Hebrew on top of the arch which read, "Let us go into the house of the Lord" from Psalm 122. But inside the synagogue was fallen arches and wook all over the place and the entrance was barred by tape because it was to dangerous to enter from all of the collapsing debree. I found this so interesting. So crazy.

Then we had normal shabbat festivities as in meal and free time at the hotel and were told a story that I really like and want to share. In a nutshell there is this guy that goes to this place for Shabbat dinner and sees that there is a magnificent feast on the table but no one is eating. As the man looks closer he realizes they have no elbows so instead of eating there are just sitting there in sadness. Then he is whisked away to another room with the same people and feast on the table but these people are so joyous and are singing and eating. And as he looks closer he realizes they do not have elbows either, but each person is feeding his neighbor. I don't know, it is a really nice story. Cute and I enjoyed it.

The next day we had services at a synagogue we visited the day before. Apparently you can rent the synagogues for a certain amount of time for prayer and other groups can walk in and look around as long as they are quiet. So we walk in and see a group of orthodox Jews praying there but apparently we had rented out the space and they saw we were beginning because we got out the guitar and started playing so they had to continue quietly and so forth. In the middle of services one of their teachers apparently had been listening in on our service. He starts yelling things at us in the middle of our services. I was actually able to udnerstand bits and pieces of it but he yelled that we are not jews and that we are the cause of the Holocaust. Our principal, from an orthodox background and a truly calm man, got so angry at the guy and ushered him outside and apparently in the hallway they had a huge argument. Some of the man's students came up to some of us afterwards apologizing on behalf of their teacher saying he was out of line and rude and so forth. But this got me riled up. I don't understand how there is so much senseless hatred in Judaism itself sometimes. I mean I am a Jew. Even if that man doesn't like the way I practice Judaism, that doesn't make me any less of a Jew. By Jewish Law I am a Jew. My mother was Jewish therefore so am I. It made me so damn angry though. Him saying that we created the Holocaust made me so angry. Isn't the Holocaust all about senseless hatred? Is that not what created it? So isn't that man saying those things that kind of seneless hatred? Gosh it made me so angry. But what can you do. People are going to think what they want... no matter what you think.

After services was an optional tiyul around Crakow which, of course, I went on. We went to the castle there and some cathedrals. We actually got kicked out of one of the Cathedrals however because our madrichim was whistling. Oh well. They were so pretty though. Crakow is actually really nice. Then in the town square I witnessed something so cool. SO SO SO COOL. Apparently Crakow has an anual giant pillow fight!! So we got to partake in and watch the pillow fight. One of the coolest things I have ever seen. So many feathers, so many pillows, it was ridiculous. Then at the end everyone threw their pillows into the air like it was graduation or something. It was so cool. And for 4 tzlotyies (definitely not spelled right) I got cotten candy and string to make friendship bracelets.

Later we had a guy talk to us about Yiddish life but he was so boring and I couldn't understand him and he was talking in circles of nothingness. But he had a girl with him who sang us a few songs in Yiddish which was really cool. I have some I need to learn.

Then we followed the footsteps of the Jews of Crakow and went over the bridge and saw the old ghetto wall. We went onto the platform where the Jews were selected for deportation. They have a memorial there in the size dimentions of a cattle car so our class huddled into one corner which was really surreal. We went to Schindler's factory. This is actually random but we accidently left one of the kids in our class with one of the other classes. Random, but funny. But I guess you had to be there.

Then we learned about Denmark. Now Denmark is specially dedicated for all of it's citizens being righteous gentiles during the Holocaust. Righteous gentiles are those who helped out Jews during the Holocaust. Anyways when Denmark heard what the Nazis wanted to do with their Jews, they did not stand for it and took all of their Jews on boats over to Sweden. My hat goes of to them. And it kind of amazes me that only one country saved us. Shows how much we were truly valued in other countries who turned a blind eye to what was happening. I really think that if the general public and governments had stood up for their Jews, this would never of happened. All it took was the people allowing the process to start taking place so by the time it got to the scale that it did, there was truly nothing to be done.

The next day started with Auschwitz 2- Birkenau. We started by going on the train tracks that Jews near and far came from to come there. Touching those was crazy. It truly shows how much effort was put into the extermination of the Jewish people if they had train tracks specifically for the camps. Next to the gas chambers were ditches and we were told that ashes were put there and then our teacher bent down and picked up all these pieces of bone. Gosh the Nazis just literaly dumped the Jews on the ground. Ugh it was so disturbing. The bathrooms showed the true dehumanization of these people. There were just a bunch of toilets in a room without any privacy and then on the wall in German was written "You be calm". The Nazis were telling these people how to feel! I can't expalin how angry this made me. They took everything away from us. Everything. And no one did anything. Ugh. And the Allies didn't bomb Auschwitz which they should of! They should of made it harder for this to happen. Or done something about it.

There were also a bunch of pictures of people before they were in the camp and one of the pictures was a family at shabbat dinner and that struck me so hard. Something I take so for granted and they were stripped of the right to do it. After that picture, I honestly see Shabbat in a different light. I can't believe one picture did that. So Birkenau was the only time I felt some kind of real feeling. It was like I needed to just leave. I felt so uncomfortable and just needed to get out of there. I can't even explain it. I wanted to run out the moment I got in and my anxiety about it just grew and grew over the minutes and hours. I've never felt like that in my entire life. It was indescribable. I just wanted to elave soooo bad. You have no idea.

We had a ceremony there again and then in the afternoon headed over the Aucshwitz 1. It didn't feel like a camp. It felt like... just a nice area. It felt nice. I mean there was grass and sun and it was so museumy and gosh. I feel like a terrible person for saying this but it wasn't anything like I imagined it. It should of been raining. It should of been gross. I should of been ugly so that I could hate that place with all my heart and soul. But it was fine... I don't get it.

In Auschwitz there were a few things that stood out. One was a roll of cloth made out of hair from the Jews which they shaved off when they got to the camp. The hair-cloth was used to make Nazi jackets. How gross is that. Not only is it gross but it shows the true and complete thought that the Jews weren't human beings at all. Then there was a hall of luggage of people who were told to write their names on their luggage and it would follow them and so forth but then they were killed upon arrival. Gosh it hurts my heart to think about it.

In the Bathroom on the way out (you had to pay for the bathroom) my counselor had an argument with the lady running it. It was so weird because she didn't speak english and my madricha doesn't speak polish but they understood eachother completely. The argument was about us not paying but my counselor was explaining that we were part fo the big group and that there was no way we used up all the money and so forth. Not important, but funny.

We had services in the only remaining temple in the city of Auschwitz and sang a great "Am Yisrael Chai" It really gets me everytime. Then on the busride we watched The Pianist. For some reason I had some sort of nightmare and convinced myself I was not allowed to sleep because I was a Jew. I went to sleep but it was so weird. Honestly this busride was so weird; I even bought a chocolate bunny at one of the stops. Not sure why I thought that was a good idea, but apparently it was at the time.

The next day was all about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. We walked around where the ghetto used to be visting the memorials to the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. In short the people in the Ghetto stood up to the Nazis knowing well that they would lose but smuggled in guns and small grenades in an organized fashion and then attaked the Nazis. It was a matter of pride for them and although they knew that they would die for their actions, they would of rather died fighting for their lives and what they believed in. At the end of this we had another singing of "Am Yisrael Chai." We are just whipping out that song left and right.

After this we had the unique opportunity of conversing with Polish teenagers. We basically had a mixer with them and I'm not sure what the point was for them but it seemed like to show them Jewish people because none of them had met any before. How sad is that. There was a thriving Jewish community in Poland, THRIVING, and all that remains are random temples here and there and a small topic about the Holocaust in Polish High Schools. It is disgraceful.

We then had services in the last remaining synagogue in Warsaw. We had a very inspirational speech from Baruch our principal about how going into Pesach we cannot forget what has happened to us. He said that the Rabbis of Poland failed the Jews by not remembering the Passover story and not seeing the destruction coming by brushing off the little laws against the Jews until it was all able to grow and kill one third of our nation. It made me appreciate Israel so much.

After on our busride to the airport we were so giddy to be leaving Poland and going back to the Holy land. We had another "Am Yisrael Chai." Song of the trip, I guess.

On the plane I was next to a bunch of Israelis so I slept the whole time. When we took off we all started clapping. I don't think there were many of us who wished to stay in Polania. When we started landing the first thing I saw when I looked out the window was the city and the lights and I got so excited about going back that I started crying. Legitamit tears were streaming down my face but I kept my cool because I was around so many people. I was so happy though. There have been few times in my life where I have been so happy that I've cried but this was one of them. One of the best moments of my life was landing in Israel. When we got onto actual land I couldn't stop singing about my love for Israel and I could not stop saying "I LOVE IT HERE. EVERYONE SMELL THE AIR RIGHT NOW."Oh my lord the air has never smelled so good. It was so fresh and so clean (clean). I could of bathed in that smell. And then my counselor behind me yelled, "Heller, kiss the ground." So I did. I kissed the ground. The dirty airport ground where everyones luggage wheels come over. I didn't even care. I was so happy to be back. I'm so happy to be back. I love love love love love love love love times infitiy it here. I love it here. I love it here.

By the way, I bought a giant Chupa Chup lollipop in the airport... Again one of those "it was a good idea at the time" sort of things. Oh well.

The next day, our first day back in Israel, we stayed at a hostel in Jerusalem. We had late wake-up and then PIZZA!!! We have been stacking up on those yeast filled items before pesach (passover). We then had a debreifing activity at a college for first year reform rabinical, cantorial, and jewish educational students. The first year of this school the students spend in Israel and then go to either New York, L.A., or Chicago (I think it is Chicago). I'll get back to this. But my class read a bunch of atrticles on different things. I read an article about this festival that is hosted in Crakow every year celebrating the old Jewish life there. They have Yiddish concerts, participte in tradtional services and have classes on the Jewish life, but one thing is pretty weird about this Jewish festival; 75% of participants are not Jewish. I know this shouldn't make me angry but it really really does. There were 3 million Jews in Poland before the Shoah (holocaust)! Now there are what 5,000 or 10,000? Ridiculous. Ri-freaking-diculous. I also read one about people just now finding out about their Jewish roots. Basically people are finding out in their late teens/early 20's that they are Jewish because they were too afraid before (with the whole communism era) to share the information with their kids. So because of communism basically all of the Jews that were left in Poland were completely dried away.

In Poland, Judaism is alive by the left behind synagogues that are a tourist attraction, the festivals celebrating Jewish life without any Jews present, and these restaurants taht we went to. Basically in the way that we have Chinese restaurants in America, they have Jewish restaurants in Poland. It is a style of restaurant. Jewish. I don't even understand how that is a restaurant theme. It is so frustrating. We are not a style of a restaurant, thank you very much, but a nation. Please do not act like your restuarants are "Jewish style" when there are clearly no Jews running these places. It is demeaning. Thank you.

I feel so mixed about visiting Poland, I mean on one hand I am so glad to have had the opportunity to truly learn in depth about all of this, and visit these places. At the same time I feel like such a terrible person for helping the Polish income because of that fact that 6 million Jews were killed. I mean just think about it. I mean obviously that isn't what we are doing but at the same time we are. It seems stupid. And at the same time, I feel terrible that these places still even exist. I mean yeah, maybe it is important that they do, but at the same time why are these places even still there? They have so much pain attached to them... I just don't understand. I'm sorry if any of this offends anyone. I'm not trying to. I'm just trying to sort out my feelings right about now.

Anyways at the college where we were debreifing we talked to one of the students there who went to camp with our Madrichim and he talked about the school and what he does. And I was really interested and asked questions. And then it hit me. I'm think EIE is turning me into a Rabbi. I mean I am getting so into services and praying and all that jazz, and I've never felt more connected with my judaism. I keep thinking about sermons and how I would give them differently. Oh. God. I'm turning into a Rabbi. Okay maybe not, but is this even something I want to do? I mean the Tanach really bores me. Really. And I think you have to like that to become a Rabbi. I guess I have some internal thinking to do. Oh my gosh, though. OH my gosh.

We then walked to Ben Yehuda and split up for dinner and hanging out. As a kind of before-pesach-last-hurah my friends and I went to a waffle bar. Oh my lord it was delicious. So good. Then we went back and had fun around the hostil until rooms in. My roommates Katie (not my old roommate, a different Katie), Anya, and Julia stayed up talking.... as usual.

Now onto today! Yay! So we had some pretty sad goodbyes this morning. I mean this is the longest any of us have ever been away from one another. 3 days... sheesh that is a long time for seperation from these kids who I spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week with. Anyways I had a long bus ride. I was at the last stop down south. They basically had a bus that shipped us all over Jerusalem to wherever we needed to go to visit our families. Bravo EIE, I thank you for your hard work. But really, that was awesome. So my friend and I blasted Spring Awakening during the ride. I got picked up by 3 of my 3rd cousins, I guess, on my Mom's side who are all relatively around my age. I have never been so nervous in my life though. If you know me really well this will come as a shock to you, if you've just met me or have met me recently, you will understand this completely; I am the most shy person when it comes to meeting people. You think I'm joking but I'm not. It is so hard for me. So hard. So this was a major "Molly needs to break out of her shell" moment. So by the way in case I have not mentioned, for the first 3 days of passover (2 nights) we stay at our families houses before going on our sea-to-sea hike. So I am going to my distant cousins' Kibbutz in the Negev by Beer Sheva.

So I get to the Kibbutz and meet all of these new people. I have so many family members here, it is legitimitedly crazy. Really though. They gave me a small tour of the Kibbutz and I saw their Markolit type store, their farm area with their cows that they milk, the horses, their "zoo of birds". Also Kibbutzim sometimes have this really cool thing where the teenagers go and live together in a building basically in dorms on the Kibbutz. So I went there and saw that. (I think this is soooo cool. You have no idea. I'm sure I will bring it up again.) But I really like this Kibbutz. It is so cute I cannot even explain. And really beautiful. I love Israel.

Anyways tonight I went to a seder. But a real seder. Not our fake American Passover Seder where we basically just sing the most well-known songs and then eat. But we went through the whole story and everything. Everyone was talking in Hebrew so I was able to pick out things here and there but barely anything. I've become very used to not understanding what is going on though, so it is perfectly fine by me. All of my family here is so nice. I'll have to elaborate more when I'm not so tired.

You know what is cool though? This year I'm in Israel for Passover. Every year we say the lines "Next year in Jerusalem!!" at the end of our seder. Last year I said it and meant it and didn't even know! It is so cool it gives me chills.

Okay I should stop being weird and go to bed. I might have to spellcheck this and publish it tomorrow though. OH well.

I love you all and HAG SAMAECH (happy holiday [as in passover])

Lox of love,
Molly